The Good, the Bad and the Not So Ugly

I've been having some issues with my sleeve playing bad head games on me. The psychologist at my surgeon's office suggested that I don't go off my daily 30 mg dose of Cymbalta and I'm glad I didn't. I've been stalled for about six weeks now, going back and forth from 207 to 210. The stall is getting SO DISCOURAGING. My highest weight was 273 and I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm still so far away from my goal of 135-140 pounds. I'm about five-and-a-half months out.

The NSVs are definitely a tradeoff with the negatives.

NSVs (Non-Sleeve Victories) include going off one of two blood pressure meds, going off an anti-inflammatory med, knees and feet feel a lot better. I'm about out of another pair of too-big jeans. My stress incontinence is about over, and my cheekbones are starting to emerge. My husband says my sleep apnea is waning and I'm not snoring nearly so much if I nap or fall asleep without my CPAP.

On the negative side, I am definitely grieving food, although I believe you can still eat beautiful, fabulous food prepared well -- just not as much of it and definitely not some things. My face looks like a red-dotted road map with zits and I've been having hair loss, although I think I may be turning the corner on that. The nausea that hits if I eat too quickly is a little disconcerting, but I'm dealing with it.

But all in all, I'm glad I did it. I feel much better and have lots more energy.

Onward,
Carol

Overcoming a setback

It was such an easy thing to believe. I have sleep apnea, which could be at least partially responsible for my weight.

And I had this hopeful, irrational hope that maybe weight would just drop off almost effortlessly ... if I just stayed on Weight Watchers.

But I did stay on it and journaled and ended up gaining .4 pounds -- almost half a pound. The week before I lost 2 pounds, right after I found out and started using the CPAP machine.

I'm getting ready to help move my dad and that's a huge stress magnet. My goal is to work out as much as possible and really, really watch my eating and drinking. And journal.

One day at a time. I can do this.

Turning a sleepy corner

June 17 is a day I may celebrate in future years.

That because June 17 is the day I found out I have mild sleep apnea, courtesy of my new ear/nose/throat physician giving me the results of my sleep test. Of course, if you have mild sleep apnea, you don't think it's mild. Waking up 13 times in REM sleep ... and having your oxygen drop to 82 percent overnight doesn't sound very good to me.

And June 18 is the day I got my CPAP machine on 30 day trial -- to see if I can tolerate it. CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure.

The first night with the CPAP was tough. Tough to go to sleep, tough to deal with the mask on my face, tough to get over the strange feeling of the humid air that's coming at you.

But the first day after the first night was amazing. Usually, I'm very drowsy and turn off the alarm multiple times. That morning I popped out of bed clear-headed and was that way all day. In face, since this experiment started, I haven't had a microsleep and haven't gotten sleepy in the afternoon. I haven't had to take a nap since I've been using the machine. This is all incredible to me.

Probably the only problem is my husband's reaction to a photo I sent him of me in the CPAP mask. Maybe that was a mistake, but his reaction was -- am I going to have to wear it to bed when he's there (he's working overseas right now) and surely I'm not going to have to wear it forever. Hopefully, he'll be able to get over the shock of my looking like Hannibal Lecter or a small elephant, with that hose hanging from my nose.

Hopefully, he'll understand the downside of sleep apnea -- like a tendency toward high blood pressure, depression, weight gain and a higher tendency toward strokes and heart attacks. I want to be around for a long, long time.

And hopefully the CPAP will help my metabolism come back up. I had felt like I don't have any metabolism at all and was getting resolved that I was just going to have to get used to being a fat person forever. Now I'm very hopeful that's not the case and it's given my Weight Watchers efforts a big boost.

Onward!